In Which I Stop Telling You What I "Plan" to Do

(I’m quite certain this is a re-written repeat)

Have you ever noticed that I’m a planner? That I say what I’m “aiming” or “planning” on doing but rarely follow-up with news of the follow-through? Yeah, I noticed that too. And it concerns me probably as much as it irritates you.

I “planned” on going to a lecture on the Dharma of Food. Didn’t go.
I “aimed” to follow the SparkPeople diabetic meal plan. Couldn’t even get through a day. 
That aptitude test I took the other day proved that I like ideas… I liked the idea of going to the lecture, and theidea of following the diet. But when it comes down to the day to day, I don’t do. There are a couple underlying points that I think inform my decisions…

Let’s take the lecture last Saturday’s lecture as an example.

1.       I didn’t think it was worth the time. I suspected the lecture was going to cover material that I already know or that I already have in books in my Ayurveda collection. I was dubious about the instructor (I don’t know much about him) and was feeling sort of anxious about the trip in general (It would’ve been about an hour’s drive each way.)  I kind of wanted to meet some like-minded people since the only other folks I know of that are interested in Ayurveda are online. But my sense of adventure completely eluded me.
2.       I didn’t think it was worth the money. The lecture itself was only $30 but it would’ve cost me ½ a tank of gas to get there and back, raising the cost of the effort to $55. $55 buys a bunch of actual food. So I thought I’d rather have the groceries. Still, investing $55 in learning about stuff that can impact your health in a positive way (and conversely influence which groceries you buy) doesn’t sound so bad.
3.       Break out the hankies! I don’t think I’m worth the effort. I wasn’t willing to spend $55 and a Saturday afternoon on learning something that could help improve my health when I could just as easily stay home, eat unhealthily, move little and wallow in my anxiety and Kapha-esque lethargy. Kaphas live their lives based in routine and my routine is for me to stay home once I get there and stay there until I have a compelling reason to leave (like work). I’m pretty sure that it’d be ok for me to spend $55 on an afternoon of learning about something in which I’m interested. Or spend some time making recipes from a pre-planned menu that are designed to help you safely and effectively lose weight.  Those are things I’d encourage any one of my loved ones to do, should it interest them.

So why not me? While I wrestle with this question I’m going to NOT tell you what I plan to do. I am solely going to report on what’s I’ve done or accomplished. If you catch me over-using words like planning or aiming, you let me know.


  1. I do the same thing. I will get very excited for events and then bail out the day they come around. I have a very hard time leaving my house, especially to go to places alone. I'm very nervous in public and would rather avoid that.

    I hope you are able to rise above and do all of the things!

  2. Only #3 concerns me, of course.

    I'm also a planner. And I lack follow-through a lot more often than I like to admit. I'm working on it.

    I would suggest maybe next time you plan something and then start down the path of reasoning yourself out of it, perhaps read this post. If it's a matter of reasons like #1 and #2, then maybe that's ok. But if it's really about #3, maybe you need to step back and reconsider.


"Explain yourself, in a silent voice, using words."